Thelma McBride Holloway

CHAPEL HILL — Thelma McBride Holloway of Chapel Hill passed away after a long illness on February 26, 2010. She died peacefully at home surrounded by her husband, children and grandchildren.

She was born on February 22, 1928 in Troy, the daughter of E.L. McBride and Ella Temple. After graduating from the Watts School of Nursing in Durham in 1947 she began a long career as a registered nurse, providing compassionate and loving care as both a staff nurse at UNC Hospital and with private patients. It was during her time as a student nurse that she met her husband, Charles, whom she married on October 25, 1947. They were an inspiration to their family and friends for their love, faithfulness, and devotion to each other.

Mrs. Holloway was a long time member and active volunteer at the University Baptist Church where she and her family have been members for over 63 years. She derived great joy in the time spent with family and friends and sharing her much coveted cakes and bread. She was a loyal member of several bridge clubs, delighting in the fellowship of her friends.

Known as ‘Mama 2′ to her grandchildren, she was a woman of gentleness and faith. Mrs. Holloway faced her life and her death with grace, patience, and kindness and will be remembered by her family and friends as the sweetest person in the world. She was a devoted wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister and friend. She will be missed deeply by all who had the honor to know and be loved by her.

She is survived by her husband, Charles; and her daughters, Linda Mortenson and her husband, Rod, of Greensboro, Susan Holloway Phillips and her husband, Chip, of Raleigh; a son, Frank Holloway and his wife, Amy, of Hardwick Vermont; a daughter-in-law, Janice Holloway Ascher of Durham; 10 beautiful and accomplished grandchildren; and three adorable great grandchildren. She is also survived by her sister, Estelle Boroughs and her husband, Woodrow, of Southern Pines.

She was preceded in death by a son, Chuck; and two sisters, Lillian Rosser and Bobbie Jean Wicker.

A memorial service celebrating Mrs. Holloway’s life will held on Sunday February 28th at 3 p.m. at the University Baptist Church, 100 South Columbia Street, Chapel Hill, N.C. 27514. A reception will follow immediately after the service.

In lieu of flowers donations can be made in Mrs. Holloway’s memory to the University Baptist Church.

It was a weekend trip, a brief getaway from school for me and when snow began to fall the night before our return I became anxious. Despite professing my hate for academia at the time, I took school very seriously. I was uncomfortable with the thought of flight cancellations and not making it to class on Monday and I certainly annoyed Ashley with my fretting. She suggested we go out for a beer and make the most of it. I did so reluctantly. We met some interesting people that night, and I had to assure some of them that I did not share all Senator Jesse Helms’ political views despite hailing from the same state – namely, I considered their sexual preference none of my damned business.

Ashley and I drank a few beers and then walked home. Relaxed by the alcohol, I allowed myself to enjoy the beauty of a heavy, muffling snow in Manhattan. I enjoy how quiet it makes things. And tonight, Valley road here in Montclair is muffled by snow. I still prefer a Caribbean sunset, but sometimes snow is absolutely beautiful.

Hopefully, I will finish this and actually post it – I’m not impressed with the number of drafts I see sitting in my drafts folder. To be fair, some of the posts are a bit negative and I ran out of energy and motivation trying to beat them into something that would add to the ongoing conversation of life. I had a question answered recently that’s been in the back of my head every time I started typing for at least a couple of years now. I was watching Into the Storm and a remark by Sir Winston Churchill to President Franklin Delano Roosevelt caught my attention. When questioned about his faith, Sir Winston, who dealt with the same doubts that I deal with, replied to FDR,  “Whether you believe or disbelieve — it is a wicked thing to take away a man’s hope.” So, I feel somewhat justified in keeping my skeptical mouth shut even though I’ve wanted to weigh in on the big question. As it turns out, someone can convey with humor an opinion I share, but would have no doubt fumbled with heavy-handed cynicism. I am also inclined to excuse my reticence with a comment a friend shared a while back, “If you cannot improve upon the silence, keep quiet (STFU).” But now, it’s time for me to ramble a little, as if I haven’t been already.

2009 was a great year. I never thought I could be  happy in a state like New Jersey – don’t get me wrong, I’ve got my complaints – but oft times I feel like Calvin in the Calvin and Hobbes strip when his dad forces him to play in the snow. Calvin, realizing that he has been playing and having a great time in the snow, panics and asks his tiger buddy, Hobbes, how much time has passed. He then runs back to his dad to complain on principle. I miss home, miss the South, but have to confess the friends I have made both at work and away from work have made this a significantly enjoyable time in my life, and I’m glad to be here. Ashley and I thought we’d been dealt a bum hand when we learned we wouldn’t be staying close to home, but we’re richer for being here. By the way, if your head is swelling as you read this, remember I’m talking about other Jersey friends. You? You’re just Facebook inventory!.

So, in case you failed to notice, I feel I’ve grown a great deal in the last year.  Working at a major metropolitan hospital in Hackensack as a Systems Analyst, I’ve been part of a great team dealing with every single system issue that could rear its ugly head in a hospital. Be it cash registers not able to deal with credit cards during a busy lunch hour in the cafeteria, or a heart imaging system not wanting to send its images properly to be read — we encountered and handled some interesting issues and helped keep the hospital running. And we did all this while preparing for a major change in the way records will be handled at HUMC. What an experience! Oh, and I learned the words “truculent” and “obstreperous” and a lot about Windows profiles all from the same guy.

Away from work I’ve tried to keep myself on the bike as much as possible. As much as I love the road, I’ve found myself less and less capable of dealing with all of the assholes who find cyclists to be such an annoyance that they would let go of any sense of humanity in order to teach us a lesson. Keep in mind I’m not surrendering to you jerks, I’ll still ride the road when I want, but I more easily find my peace on the trails, regardless of whether or not the overzealous environmentalists have political power in my town. Don’t get me wrong, I love nature, but I don’t care too much for people who think I shouldn’t have fun in it. The amusing thing to me is that these are the folks that don’t want the government to be allowed to make laws controlling their bodies, but want them to pass all kinds of laws to control everything else. Accept my apologies for the tangent, please.

What I’ve grown to love about cross country cycling in New Jersey is the challenging terrain. There’s a lot of technical, rocky, shift-your-weight-on-the-saddle-just-right-and-blast-it-up-the-run kind of stuff on the trails here that has made me a better rider than I ever thought I could be. It feels good to grow more competent and capable. There is something deeply satisfying about going back out and riding a section that I had to walk my bike across the previous ride. It is both physically and mentally rewarding.

The riding friends I’ve made have of course encouraged me and I’m grateful to them. And when the weather changed and made it a bit harder to find the motivation to ride, my friends, Luke and Aaron, took up climbing and encouraged the rest of us to check out the local climbing gym. I’m afraid of heights, so I was reluctant, but recognized the opportunity to get out the house during this miserable time of year and started climbing.

I’m learning and improving and realizing that the fear of heights can be dealt with. It’s frustrating to watch so many others who are better than me at this new-found hobby, but I’m wise enough to compare myself with where I was when I took this up back in late November. I’ve built up strength climbing on the lower stuff, bouldering as it is called by climbers, and am gradually getting used to the high climbs. A lot of it has to do with trust — trusting your body and trusting your belay partner, and observation — watching those who are good at it, listening to advice from folks who watch you climb a route they know. There’s a metaphor for life in there I’m sure.

Now, I’m going to rush a finish off and post this otherwise I will never post this. And I’m going to leave it fairly raw, because I end up leaving a lot of words in a state of infinite editing.

I’ve been promising Ashley that I would take up yoga for years. Finally, after biking and climbing made me increasingly aware of how much my inflexibility affected my ability to have fun (I’m having fun, I just feel like it could be more fun if I wasn’t so tense) I decided to make good on that promise. So, I’ve taken up yoga and was immediately humbled by what the human body is capable of — well,  other human bodies — not mine — not yet. But the important thing to me is: I’m getting more flexible and stronger and may very well be more fit as I approach my forties than I was while serving in the navy. That’s a good feeling.

That’s it. I may revisit this post, but for now: click, it’s out there.

Fatcyclist.com is one of my absolute, all-time favorite reads on the web. Although cycling focused, Elden Nelson’s blog is about so much more. Long-time readers have had the opportunity to witness Elden’s blog evolve from a fun weight loss accountability blog for Fatty’s friends into a true testimony of what the cycling “family” really is. Elden was very candid during his wife Susan’s battle with cancer and touched lives all around the world. When Susan passed, people who had never met her mourned for her and reached out to Elden and his family as if they were kin.

Elden is a better writer than I, so I encourage you to read his blog yourself. Be sure to read the comments on many of the posts; they are a pleasant relief from the commentary on most sites. His blog reminds me of why I ride the bike – I’ve made some of my strongest friendships simply by showing up to a group ride.

Elden is doing a lot to honor his wife and their children. With the help of loyal and loving fans he has raised a great deal of money for some good causes. One of his MO’s is the tongue-in-cheek open letter. Recently he wrote a very humorous letter to Johan Bruyneel, manager of the newly-formed Team Radio Shack, in which he mentioned his many qualifications to be on the team. Bruyneel replied with a challenge for Elden to raise a considerably amount of money for two great causes in a short period of time.

If you want to do something great for someone who deserves it this holiday season, I encourage you to consider giving as much as you can to either one or both of these causes. Do it as soon as possible though, the deadline for Bruyneel’s challenge is this coming Friday, December 11.

Direct links to the causes mentioned in Bruyneel’s letter:

World Bicycle Relief – http://grassroots.kintera.org/Creative/fatcyclist

LIVESTRONG – http://www.livestrong.org/grassroots2009/sendfattytocamp

Thanks and Happy Holidays.

I don’t think I like the idea of this at all. I think most of us are already too far removed from the source of our food. I like knowing my burger came from a cow and my bacon from a pig. This just sounds too much like something from a Kurt Vonnegut short story.

I can’t be the only one that finds trading guns for “Target” gift cards humorous.

“You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead … wait, you mean you’re going to give me a gift card? OK, take i t.”

Jeremy brought to my attention today how much information was available on me through Facebook. I was being jokingly dismissive until another coworker reminded me that my credit card number was compromised the other day (fortunately my bank was savvy enough to suspect fraud, when “I” bought tickets to Bahrain, and block the charges), so I decided to at least contemplate what he was telling me. And nothing helps contemplation quite like writing. Hence this post.

(No, my credit card number is not on Facebook, at least that I know of.)

If you are a Facebook friend of mine, you can see a good amount of information on me. In addition to the demographic-in-to-this-not-into-that info I share, you can eavesdrop on what I am saying to other friends easily if it’s done on wall posts, somewhat less easily if a mutual friend shares privates messages that I sent them. Even if you are not a friend, a mutual friend can easily share what I write with you by allowing you to view their account. My best friend discovered that the hard way a while back, when as a recent divorcee and a novice to Facebook he trusted, as confidants, friends who were sharing all he said with his ex. And it’s not just what I am saying, but what I have said that is visible. Everything is “on record.” Some of what’s on record: names of pets addresses, place of birth, sibling names, parent names – provide the answers to “security” questions asked by financial institutions for identity verification.

One of the first things I did when I got my own domain, before Facebook existed, before people were “blogging”, was to list names of people who I was trying to find.  A few friends found me through my site, but not nearly as many as I had hoped. Once I got on Facebook I found or was found by more than I expected. And I have enjoyed catching up.

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This was going to be a post where I questioned how much of an online presence I wanted to allow. Then I saw a post from what I’ve thought for a while is one of the best places on the web. Elden Nelson is an enviably gifted writer and his anecdotes about cycling, and more importantly his openness about his wife’s struggle with cancer inspired a lot of people. Had he been paranoid about sharing too much information with the world, he and a lot of others would have lost out. Instead he has had people around the world praying for and pulling for his wife, Susan, as she fought for her precious life. And now that she has passed, people who never met her are touched by the news.

I’ve decided not to worry anymore. Life is too short to allow fear to make your decisions for you.

Win Susan.

Heading to bed. I’ll come up with something to write about in the next day or so – maybe the fishing trip I took with some HUMC IT folks on Saturday.